WARNING: MARRIAGE MAY RESULT IN SWEATPANTS AND HIGH FIVES

        I admit it. I have a brain full of worms. My husband tells me that when I get worked up about something small like the dishwasher leaking or China poisoning my child's applejuice, worms in my brain start to wiggle. These worms make my voice get high and squeaky and I can't focus on the smallest task and then the worms hit the "DELUGE" button on my tear ducts. I will not ever tell him he was right, but when my impression of Fran Drescher starts to get spot-on and I begin to butter the dog and pet the toast, I think, crap, there is worms in my brain. Do you have someone who knows you so well that it feels almost intrusive?

      Dating is so fake. Blah.  You'll say anything to seem agreeable if you like the person. "Oooo you like balsamic vinaigrette? Me too!!" "You love big-game taxidermy? Me too!! I would love to see your basement workshop!! Is that a Buffalo head? It's stunning!"

     Being with someone that is as real and honest as Eric was quite jarring at first. True event: we were dating for like a week. We were all snugglely, watching something that I said, in true dating fashsion, "Ooo dying to see this too!" When Eric turned to me all rugged and handsome "Kris, you got a bat in the cave." I screamed and ran to get a tissue, completely mortified. But he was fine, no recoiling in disgust. I thought "hmmm, this man knows people are flawed and weird and may have worms in the brain. Wow."

  Married people are boring, for the most part. I get it. I have sweatpant dates on the couch and high five "goodnights" and arguements about face stubble in the sink and "honey, does this mole look weird?" But I have someone who can forgive the fact that I'm not Megan Fox, Betty Crocker, Rosie the robot maid from the Jetsons all in one. I get to be just the way I am, which is a pretty exciting to me. Beats being on a date and  pretending to like Nascar, or firearms, or the band "Kiss", or medievel King Arthur lore. (all of which I've done. yep. for real.) Enjoy their flaws today. It confirms what you have together is real.